Starting Programming

I really have never programmed before in my life. I've done none of it, but I want to start. What should I use to learn? SICP? I understand SICP will probably be overly difficult but I'll just spend a lot of time with it. Or will it be impossible for me to understand?

Pick up Python or Ruby. Both are solid good choices for a beginner: easy to learn, easy to try out stuff (no compilation, and you can try out thing in interactive mode), and the user communities are both intelligent and friendly to beginner.
Go visit the official site for both languages, you'll find pointers to ebooks aimed at first-time programmers.

Disregard the trolls that will follow.