Starting Programming

I really have never programmed before in my life. I've done none of it, but I want to start. What should I use to learn? SICP? I understand SICP will probably be overly difficult but I'll just spend a lot of time with it. Or will it be impossible for me to understand?

>>13
You're aware that lisp doesn't get any sort of actual use in the real world, right? There's a good reason for that.

Also, stay the fuck away of C unless you're gonna code devices drivers or video games. You will have to take care about all sort of chores that will get in the way of learning useful stuff. 

Also, you'd better understand that more than 50% of /prog/ is subtle trolling before you take any opinion we give you seriously.