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Schemeworld

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 4:37

/prog/ needs to write a novel. Now, I think we should name our setting Schemeworld, and have the Loyalist parenthesi of the Sussman fighting the heretic Abelson.

What does /prog/ think?

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 4:38

we can use forced indentation of paragraphs to show great danger and/or faggotry

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:03

CHAPTER THE FIRST

THE EXODUS FROM THE LAND OF ENTERPRISE

It was said to be a day unlike any other. A great host of developers swarming around, a torrent of despair. The Evil Manager, better known as Abelson, had finally done it.

It was his out sourcing policy that drove even the mindless drones away from the Land of Enterprise. No longer would they tolerate the mental abuse of the Management Federation.

But this great host of people were without a goal. They lacked something, a leader. Who may inspire such a great number of developers to achieve satori? Where will they go?

Many talk of the promised land, "Schemeworld", but none have seen it. There was talk of the legendary wizard Sussman, who was said to have written the Great Book of SICP. But how would developers come in contact with this unknown source of hope and reason?

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:22

>>3
Use ``proper quotes".

Also, appending to yours;

And down from the great Mount MIT, came the Messenger of Sussman. He spoke long, he spoke hard, he railed against the Enterprise Unbelievers of the Abelson Army. He spoke against the foolishness of loops, and praised tail-recursion. He shouted, he whispered, and the crowd stared. The Messenger then said "Does anyone have any questions?" And the crowd were silent, save for a woman, who raised her hand, and mumbled unintelligibly. And the Messenger gave to her the knowledge she sought. Abelson was quick to respond, forcibly indenting the Messenger's speech, and raising many rival factions of their Universe, Lisp. Still the Messenger and the People of Sussman held out against these plagues, and there was much crying and gnashing of teeth among the weaker-willed, who joined Abelson. Abelson, seeing the Messenger gain more support, even as his indentation ruined the Messenger's speeches, raised a great Devil, vi, and another, Emacs, to battle over domination of Text Editorian, an essential Island to all the parenthesi of Lisp. Their battle was long and hard, but the angel Ed came to reinforce his standard, and he slew both where they stood, and transformed the People of Sussman still true to the Messenger into Holy Parenthesi, so that they could become their Lord, and become their truth, and define themselves as functions. And, with this newfound extensibility and power, they began their journey across Schemeworld to find the Great Book of SICP.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:23

>>4
Just noticed I didn't use proper quotes in mine -_-;

"Does anyone have any questions?"
should be
``Does anyone have any questions?"

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:30

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:41

CHAPTER THE FIRST

THE EXODUS FROM THE LAND OF ENTERPRISE

It was said to be a day unlike any other. A great host of developers swarming around, a torrent of despair. The Evil Manager, better known as Abelson, had finally done it.

It was his out sourcing policy that drove even the mindless drones away from the Land of Enterprise. No longer would they tolerate the mental abuse of the Management Federation.

But this great host of people were without a goal. They lacked something, a leader. Who may inspire such a great number of developers to achieve satori? Where will they go?

Many talk of the promised land, ``Schemeworld", but none have seen it. There was talk of the legendary wizard Sussman, who was said to have written the Great Book of SICP. But how would developers come in contact with this unknown source of hope and reason?

And down from the great Mount MIT, came the Messenger of Sussman.

He spoke long, he spoke hard, he railed against the Enterprise Unbelievers of the Abelson Army. He spoke against the foolishness of loops, and praised tail-recursion. He shouted, he whispered, and the crowd stared. The Messenger then said ``Does anyone have any questions?" And the crowd were silent, save for a woman, who raised her hand, and mumbled unintelligibly. And the Messenger gave to her the knowledge she sought.

Abelson was quick to respond, forcibly indenting the Messenger's speech, and raising many rival factions of their Universe, Lisp. Still the Messenger and the People of Sussman held out against these plagues, and there was much crying and gnashing of teeth among the weaker-willed, who joined Abelson.

Abelson, seeing the Messenger gain more support, even as his indentation ruined the Messenger's speeches, raised a great Devil, vi, and another, Emacs, to battle over domination of Text Editorian, an essential Island to all the parenthesi of Lisp. Their battle was long and hard, but the angel Ed came to reinforce his standard, and he slew both where they stood, and transformed the People of Sussman still true to the Messenger into Holy Parenthesi, so that they could become their Lord, and become their truth, and define themselves as functions. And, with this newfound extensibility and power, they began their journey to Schemeworld to find the Great Book of SICP.

But the journey would not be easy. That, none doubted. And so the angel Ed visited again and laid down laws to prevent them from ever becoming Enterprise Unbelievers, among them, the law known as the Standard of Ed.

``When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless help screens and cursor positioning code!  I just want an EDitor!! Not a "viitor".  Not a "emacsitor".  Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED! ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!"

And, with this, he cast off the guises of the Emacsen among them, revealing them to the fury of the traitorous vimmers, who launched upon them with such hatred that they fought 'til none were left. The angel Ed smiled.

Suddenly, the Messenger cried out! ``My Lord!" and bowed. The People of Sussman followed, for all could feel the presence of Him. The parenthesi their bodies had been transformed into glowed, and at the sound of the Sussman's laughter, they joined into expressions. The people felt their King's mirth wash over them, as they formed tail-recursive loving partnerships, and the Sussman was pleased.

``I think that it's extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the paying customers got shafted every now and then, and after a while we began to take their complaints seriously. We began to feel as if we really were responsible for the successful, error-free perfect use of these machines. I don't think we are. I think we're responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions, and keeping fun in the house. I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all, I hope we don't become missionaries. Don't feel as if you're Bible salesmen. The world has too many of those already. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don't feel as if the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What's in your hands, I think and hope, is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it, that you can make it more."

``But, o King, we are starving and oppressed!"

``I think that it's extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in comput--"

``Lord, please!"

And Sussman destroyed them for questioning him. Those who had remained silent shuffled into the deserts of UNIX, to search for Schemeworld.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:51

Abelson is not ENTERPRISE, you blasphemous cocksuckers.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 5:54

>>8

Heathen!

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 6:06

>>8
Are you one of the Abelson Army?

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 6:07

Why does everyone hate Abelson? He was one of the author's of the SICP

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 6:10

>>11
Write a chapter on his plea to the Sussmanites.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 6:23

Ah, the plot thickens!

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 10:25

Fatal error! Message could not be posted.

Please post threads less often!

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 12:08

Haha, oh wow.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 13:20

This is why we submit /prog/ to Reddit.

http://programming.reddit.com/info/61nci/comments/

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 13:22

>>16
Noooooooooooooooooo!

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 13:30

Who is writing the next chapter? I am tired.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 13:37

>>16
I lol'd.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 13:57

I demand an continuation.

hurr durr functional joke

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 14:11

>>16
This is an unsanctioned... use... of magical energy...

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 15:18

United Sussman Scheme Republic

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 15:29

If someone saves this somewhere and hosts it for all to see, I will write some more.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 15:31

>>23
Don't bother, it sucks ass.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 15:42

>>23
I already saved this on my machine. Go on.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 16:37

HE THREW HIS PARANTHESIS DOWN AND EXCLAIM, "MY BOI??? YOURE 12 YEARS OLD AND YOU HAVENT EVEN READ SICP?? HAVENT YOU HEARD OF THE GOOD LORD JESUS CHRIST??"

HE STORMED OUT THE ROOM IN A LAMBDA FURY, ONLY TO RETURN SECONDS LATER WITH THE SACRED BOOK ITSELF.

"INCREDIBLE" GEORGE (the main character) THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, THE HOLY BOOK IS HERE!!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 16:40

This is when esr appeared and fucked everything up.

THE END

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 16:50

>>27
Bah, such a cliché ending.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 16:54

Wasn't me :( I lost the buffer with my continuation on :(

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 16:58

The Sussman woke up with a homoerotic expression on his face.

"Oh man, I just dreamed that one of my most trusted disciples fucked me in the ass.  Thank Lisp it was just a dream!"

With that the Sussman went on to his daily routine of conquering the world and looking for Schemeworld.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 17:08

if we get enough scraps of a story together we can actually just stick in a .txt and call it a book :D

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 17:13

>>31
It would be awesome if we had a TeX book of actual programming language fanfic.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 17:37

>>32
Moar liek TROFF AM I RITE YOU FUCKING KNUTH FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!11

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 18:15

Son, you want to take this further? I'm using w3m.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-28 18:35

>>34
weeaboo.

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-29 5:37

Why do we ruin everything good we do?

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-29 6:02

THIS IS WHY WE SUBMIT /PROG/ TO REDDIT

Name: Anonymous 2007-11-29 11:33

AND HUASDIASDVB HE FLoBBLED AS HIS PROGRAAM COMPILED HE COULD FEEEEEEEEEEEL THE LAMBDAS FLOW FLLOWING THROUGH HIS VEINES

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 13:38

No you don't.

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 14:01

That is the place where we cannot look, she thought. There is the place the enterprise faggots are so reluctant to mention — the place where only an EXPERT PROGRAMMER may look.

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