Fucking C

i made this thread to vent about C and it's terrible string management and how it's not my fault i need this done by noon tomorrow and i've had it for a month

char *threadsafe() {
    static char *value = 0;
    if(value == 0) value = malloc(sizeof(char) * 512);
    strcat(value, "hay guys, am i doin it rite ");
    return value;
}