Which Lisp?

Question for you Lispfags; I'm checking out Common Lisp, and I'm finding it's lacking even the most rudimentary convenience string handling functions, like split. This disappoints me. You promise me the world, and yet I get stuck back in the 70's, writing yet another string library.
So, is there something akin to a 'modern' Lisp? I'm talking library/module functionality, unicode handling, and generally 'batteries included'.

You probably can't even access databases or network resources in LISP. I bet all LISP programs do nothing but loop over the equivalent of "print 'hello world'" while the programmers masturbate furiously.