Python Perl Ruby - All the same all worthless

Never before have authors conspired together to make shitty implementations of their own languages!

Ruby: Interpretted AST, shitty garbage collector, any naive attempt at improving performance would do so. Written by a toothless jap who doesn't know anything about programming languages. Rips tonnes of shit off of a perl and does not improve upon them. Chugs memory like a slut chugs cum.

Python: Written by a total asshole who tries to deprive the language of anything useful. Interpretted usually and sometimes JIT compiled (psycho), used by blatant assholes (Bram Cohen). Python's performance is due to extreme naivete on the part of Guido. Chugs memory like a slut chugs cum.

Perl: Evolving over many years and often buggy perl's performance is poor as it Chugs memory like a slut chugs cum. It is designed by multiple people and is actually a pretty original programming language. It is wild and whacky. That said 36 bytes per value sucks and its optimizer sucks and so does its GC.

All 3 languages suffer from a real lack of research with respect to the implementations.

Perl is pretty usefull, I used it the other day to parse some rail timetable data, Ive also used it to rip info from sites. 

I didn't think any other language is as strong on pattern matching as PERL to be honest. 

Apart from Java 1.5 which has now implemented a perl style pattern matching.

If theres something better for pattern matching like a c library or whatever let me know.