PHP is awesome

This is how you create a anonymous function in PHP:

$newfunc = create_function('$a,$b', 'return "ln($a) + ln($b) = " . log($a * $b);');

>>1
PHP's built-in library is putrid. Trust me, tried using it for a real live project.

All it does is have the interpreter run a function called something gay like __GETSOMEAIDS and so forth. You have to assign a name to that.

It runs slower than slowpoke, it is a horrible security risk since it blindly passes the input into the interpreter, it can't be GC'd well (because PHP's GC already sucks, so yeah...) and it's a bitch to get one script inside another.

Don't fucking bother. Just write in fucking Haskell. Save yourself some headahces.