Ruby

I'm a Python fag, though not a fanboy. I wanted to check Ruby out because of this one feature: no statements. Statements sound retarded to me, and I don't like them in Python. Since Ruby has a similar feature set to Python, I thought it would be worth checking out. However, I've been mildly disgusted by Ruby.

- Why the fuck are parenthesis optional? This is the same shit as Perl! It's insane and error-prone. Parenthesis are always almost usually probably expectedly optional, right? Only faggots can't take parenthesis.

- What's this 2-Lisp-like retardation?

abc = 1
def abc
 2
end

abc #= 1
abc() #= 2

My goodness, fuck this shit! It's the single worst thing in Common Lisp, one that makes my stomach ache because of its COBOL-caliber braindamagedness, irregularity and incorrectness. This combined with the fact parenthesis are optional makes me want to kill Matsumoto. He irritates me more than Guido van Rossum.

- This accessor stupidity is retarded, a fugly hack, and probably slow as fuck. A method called "property=" won't fix this all-private stupidity, and it's also a possible origin of the 2-Lisp-like bullshit so you can define property().

- alias? private? Don't bloat it! Want an alias? Use a stupid reference. Want something private? Don't document it outside your code, or write "DON'T CALL THIS" in the documentation.

- Blocks are an ugly syntax for lambdas (though better than Python's, if only because statements are expressions).

- Now I'm really being a bitch, but I don't really like this "responds_to?", "send", etc. OO wankery. I'm not at all excited by OO; it's useful, but there's no need to invent funny names and metaphores for what has always been simple: functions. Everything, a function. That's how I like it. From the "Ruby From Other Languages page", "Message passing, not function calls": the guy who wrote that is stupid. Message passing is a snob OO wanker way to say function call. And no, I don't talk to my lists, though I may want to execute their join property which happens to be a function.

Can anybody explain why all this faggotry?

The other things I didn't care about (such as the definition of falsehood, though I suppose Python's would be more useful) or liked (such as better support for symbols or mutable strings).

Who gives a damn about having a special namespace for functions? How often do you want to ((x) e) where x returns a function? And is there even a logical way to write something similar with Ruby's syntax?