The young Yosef answered that Habdalah shows the distinction between the holy and the profane, Israel and the nations of the world and the Shabbath and the rest of the week, which proved that he had an understanding of the subject. His father, however, was not satisfied with this answer. He would ask him one more question before deciding.
"Why" he asked, "is the order of Habdalah that first there is the wine, then Besamim (scent), followed by the candle and at the end Hamabdil (separation)?". Since the separation is the most important, should it not have come right after the wine? The young Yosef thought about it for a moment and answered that his father himself had taught him that the essence of a Jew is to strive to constantly grow. For that reason we start with the mouth (wine), then go up to the nose (scent), then go further up to the eyes (looking at the flame), and finally, the blessing of separation which is connected with understanding, which is the brain. The father was astonished by his eight year old son and let him hold the candle.
It is possible to annul more than one vow at a time as well as to annul vows for more than one person at a time. If annulling multiple vows one changes the phrase from the singular form of "Muttar Lakh" (it is annulled for you), to the plural form of "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you). When annulling for multiple people, the form of the second person, "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you [singular]), is changed to "Muttarim Lakhem" (you [plural]).
A vow or an oath can actually be annulled by simply saying just once, "Muttar (Muttarim) Lakh" (let it [them] be permitted to you). Nevertheless, the custom is to say it three times to reinforce the matter. Nowadays we say it three different ways, "Muttar Lakh" (3 times), "Mahul Lakh" (3 times), and "Sharooi Lakh" (3 times). These are all expressions of annulling vows. In fact, one may use any expression which is understood to express the annulling of vows.
After his passing on the 13th of Elul, 5669 (1909), his son Hakham Ya'aqob Hayyim, 'a"h, spoke in the Great Synagogue. Though he spoke as loudly as he could, the majority of the crowd assembled there could not hear him properly. They asked the Hakhamim gathered there to ask Hakham Ya'aqob to please raise his voice. He commented in his Derasha, that even though his father's voice was heard by all those assembled there, including people outside, such a thing was not possible for a human being. This, he said, was evidence that it was the Shekhinah speaking through his throat.
This applies in a case where the oath was made only about the specific commandment, such as an oath not to eat Massah (מצה), on the night of Pesah. If however, included in the oath were matters that one was permitted to take an oath over, such as taking an oath not to eat Massah at all, then it applies also to Pesah. The reason is that since the oath is valid, insofar as eating Massah the rest of the year is concerned, it is also valid on Pesah.
Nowadays, three men are required to annul a vow or oath. For the purpose of annulling vows and oaths, the men do not need to be Torah scholars or experts. However, they may not be 'Amei Ha-ares (ignorant). The rule is that they must, at least, be able to understand if they are taught. In other words, if they are taught Halakha (laws), they will comprehend what they have been taught, even though they may not be able to learn them by themselves.
If this occurs during the day of Shabbath, one should say the verses of the Qiddush before Netilath Yadayim (washing one's hands) for the meal, without the blessing on the wine. One should then have in mind that the blessing on the bread is in place of the Qiddush, in the same way that one does it whenever one recites Qiddush over bread.
Even in a case where one was under the impression that something was a major transgression, but later on found out that it was a Humra (stringency that some have accepted upon themselves), it is not considered to be a Neder. Therefore, in this case also, no annulment of vows is needed.
After reciting the Qiddush, one should not delay, but should wash one's hands right away, and sit down to eat the meal. If one delays the meal for some time, one will not have fulfilled one's obligation of Qiddush. If, however, when reciting the Qiddush, one had the intention of eating a meal there, immediately after the Qiddush, but for some reason, was delayed before eating the meal, one will have fulfilled one's obligation of Qiddush.
The Ohr Hahayyim tells us that this Parasha is hinting to us here that we have an obligation to return all the lost souls, who have strayed far from the paths of the Torah. We must not ignore them, but must try to bring them back to the right path and close to their Father in Heaven. In Dibrei Mordekhai it adds that, in general, an animal will always find its way back to its owner's home. But we should not rely on that and should perform the commandment ourselves.
The Hattarath Nedarim that is in the Siddurim spells out that we do not regret the good deeds that we did, but only regret the fact that we did not stipulate that this was Beli Neder.
Thursday, August 8, 2013/Elul 2, 5773[/br]
תמים תהיה עם ה' א' "You shall be perfect with the L-rd your G-d" (Debarim 18:13). One should not question the attributes of G-d, even in one's heart. When it says that you shall be perfect with the L-rd your G-d, it comes to tell us that even when it comes to thoughts, that no one knows, except G-d who is the One who examines our hearts, we must be perfect. Another explanation is that the letter "ת" (Taw) of the word Tamim is larger. This comes to hint at Talmud. Talmud Torah (studying Torah) is great because it leads us to the performance of the commandments. The larger letter comes to stress the importance of studying Torah.