Haskell Monads

Hi, I'm learning Haskell, and I'm currently stuck on monads and monad (categorical) theory. Can someone write a paragraph of what exactly is a monad is haskell, in simple english? Or at least link to a good monad tutorial. Thank you.

Haskell is insane. All that fappery. When you need side effects, you have them. Shoving FP up your anus and making things complicated because of it is about as stupid as shoving OOP up your anus (as in Java). Right tool for the right job motherfuckers.