WE NEED A LANGUAGE

I propose a basic language just for this board. With If statments and goto's and all that. Somthing like this:

[basic]
10 a=5
20 print a
30 print "UP YOURS!"
[/basic]

or

[basic]
10 print "hi"
20 goto 10
[/basic]

We need a 4chan-specific dialect of lolcode.
HAI
PLZ CAN HAS STDIO?
 AWSUM THX ; BTW do nothing if lib exists
 OH NOES!!!; DIAF "NO STDIO WTF"
I HAS A VAR ITZ 5
VISIBLE VAR
VISIBLE "UP YOURS!"
KTHXBYE

HAI
PLZ CAN HAS STDIO?
 AWSUM THX ; BTW do nothing if lib exists
 OH NOES!!!; DIAF "NO STDIO WTF"
IM IN YR LOOP; BTW infinite
 VISIBLE "HI"
KTHX
BYES 1 "SHOULDN'T SEE THIS"
KTHXBYE

syntax error at 'do nothing if lib exists'

should be:

HAI
PLZ CAN HAS STDIO?
 AWSUM THX ; BTW GOGGLES
 OH NOES!!!; DIAF "NO STDIO WTF"
I HAS A TITLES ITZ 2
SHOW TITES
GTFO
KTHXBYE