Perfect Language

So, I was looking at this thread http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1183997706/1-40 and all the various language bashing threads and was wondering... What, in the opinions of anonymous and 4chan in general, would make a perfect programming language? I am interested in both syntax and features and general flames, since they entertain me.

>>36
But a dangling pointer is not a violation of the type system, it is not even an error unless you dereference it.  Statically typed languages without GC are still considered strongly typed, no?

I was really quite sure that there was a good reason for GC in functional languages above and beyond the usual convenience and safety, but maybe I was mistaken.