Perfect Language

So, I was looking at this thread http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1183997706/1-40 and all the various language bashing threads and was wondering... What, in the opinions of anonymous and 4chan in general, would make a perfect programming language? I am interested in both syntax and features and general flames, since they entertain me.

>>25
>Regarding faster hardware, that is completely the wrong attitude, IMHO. Just because hardware gets faster does not mean programmers should not care about performance of their software (especially in regards to time and space _complexity_ rather than cpu _time_).
That's SO what I didn't say. I meant that people who are still in '00s doing micro-optimizations like manual memory management are fucking idiots and should just go away. I'm a CS major and I'm very interested in complexity theory, and it will be a valid point however powerful the hardware becomes.