Programming: Where should I start.

Ok, I'm gonna learn to program. I've decided on Perl (due to what environments I have access to at school (perl, python, ruby (on rails?), lisp), the fact that I don't need to compile, and the use of boilerplate code in perl vs. python)

What is the simplest and BEST free online tutorial out there for someone who understand html but not very much else (I'm apparently to stupid for this: http://www.perl.com/pub/a/2000/10/begperl1.html)

C. jesus fucking chirst how many times do i have to answer this fucking question with the same fucking answer?
want to learn programming? learn C. simple.