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HELLO, I'M JOHN BACKUS, FOUNDER AND CREATOR OF THE FORTRAN LANGUAGE. I AM HERE TO SAY I DIED YESTERDAY AND SO MAY FORTRAN REST IN PEACE FOR GREAT WINNING. I ALREADY APOLOGIZED ENOUGH FOR CREATING SUCH A SHITTY LANGUAGE BASED ON VON-NEUMANN ARCHITECTURE AND HAVING IT POPULARIZE INSTEAD OF LISP. I TRIED TO MAKE UP FOR IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WORKING ON GETTING VON-NEUMANN MACHINES OUT OF PEOPLE'S HEADS, BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT BECAUSE THEIR HEADS WERE IN TURN INTO THEIR ASSES. I GUARANTEE IT.