Okay, I'm using Linux

How I would go about teaching myself to make small programs, or just learn programming in general.

SUICIDE SYNTAX RULES:
1 THERE ARE NO COMMENTS, ALL TEXT IS COMPILED
2 VARIABLE NAMES HAVE MAX 1 CHAR
3 YOU CANNOT DECLARE VARIABLES, THEY MUST APPEAR IN PROGRAM FLOW
4 EQUALS AND ASSIGNMENT ARE SAME OPERATOR ':=='
5 NO FUNCTION CALLS, GOTO ONLY
6 INT IS THE ONLY DATA TYPE AND IT VARIES BY PLATFORM
7 ALL CONSTANTS ARE MODIFIABLE AND APPEAR IN PROGRAM TEXT WHEN COMPILED
8 EACH LINE ENDS WITH A '&' TO MARK END OF LINE
9 THERE IS NO MULTIPLY OR DIVIDE OPERATOR
10 NO END STATEMENT, PROGRAM MUST LOOP ENDLESSLY TO HALT