why does java suck?

I've noticed in the short time I've been reading this board that there's a lot of java bashing, so I was wondering why people actually think it is so bad. I'm no java fan, but I've used it for some stuff before and it didn't seem terrible to me. An argument used to be that it runs slow as a guro-fied loli, but they've improved a lot in that aspect.

Please give good reasons, rather than stuff like "it's for certified professional consultants" or whatever you guys say.

(which include satellites)

This is the funniest shit I've ever heard. I cannot imagine a satellite using Java. I simply cannot. It goes against everything I know about realtime embedded systems, particularly the hardened electronics they shoot up into space. It stinks like total bullshit from five miles away, the kind of bizarre tail only a completely fucking ignorant fool would believe.

So I went looking. Did a bunch of googling, trying to turn up a satellite, any satellite, that used Java anywhere in its onboard systems. Well, I turned up Java sometimes being used in tracking and other applications on the ground (oooooh, big deal there! total surprise!), but not one instance of Java on a satellite.

Which sounds totally right to me.

So, care to provide some proof of satellites actually using Java? I'm awfully curious.