why does java suck?

I've noticed in the short time I've been reading this board that there's a lot of java bashing, so I was wondering why people actually think it is so bad. I'm no java fan, but I've used it for some stuff before and it didn't seem terrible to me. An argument used to be that it runs slow as a guro-fied loli, but they've improved a lot in that aspect.

Please give good reasons, rather than stuff like "it's for certified professional consultants" or whatever you guys say.

Newsflash: contrary to popular opinion, Java doesn't scale well at all. This opinion is shared by the clueless, such as management, or ignorant fanboys who have little experience outside of the java their shit college taught them.

Anyone who has ever been involved, personally or on the periphery, with huge systems knows just how "scalable" Java is. There are several alternatives that put the scale in scalable, but they're not as mainstream as Java, ergo the clueless worshiping of what amounts to garbage.

It's amazing what a marketing machine can do.