why does java suck?

I've noticed in the short time I've been reading this board that there's a lot of java bashing, so I was wondering why people actually think it is so bad. I'm no java fan, but I've used it for some stuff before and it didn't seem terrible to me. An argument used to be that it runs slow as a guro-fied loli, but they've improved a lot in that aspect.

Please give good reasons, rather than stuff like "it's for certified professional consultants" or whatever you guys say.

Oh, wow, I always wanted to use UML tools. All this time that is exactly what I was missing.

Also, I'd love to know how many languages >>107 has ever programmed something non-trivial in. That post is so fanboy is reeks.