C vs Java vs Spiderman vs The Incredible Hulk

Whenever I see one of those fanatics, you know, people who are fanboys of some programming language or operating system because they've read an article somewhere and decided they were now going to defend this unto death, I just want to try every medieval torture method I can find on the Internet out on them.

Anybody feel the same?

C++ > C, Java, Spiderman, and The Incredible Hulk