Name: Anonymous 2012-03-22 4:27
THE RICK SANTORUM 2012 PLEDGE:
I hereby pledge that if Rick Santorum gets elected to the Presidency of the United States, I will, to the best of my ability:
1) Masturbate to hardcore pornography every day while listening to Rick Santorum speeches.
2) Have premarital or extramarital sex every week while thinking about Rick Santorum.
3) Have homosexual relations every month while screaming Rick Santorum's name. (as a straight man, this will be hard for me, but i will swallow my pride and make this sacrifice for my country)
4) Impregnate a woman every year and pay for her abortion.
5) Attend church every week and steal money from the offering plate, then spend that money on porn or drugs.
6) Attend Church every week, and disrupt service by loudly blaspheming the name of the Lord (YHWH, pronounced Yahweh)
7) Smoke meth and shoot heroin as often as I can afford it.
8) Convert to Islam. Radical Islam.
I will do these things to the best of my ability until Rick Santorum is no longer the President of the United States of America.
I hereby pledge that if Rick Santorum gets elected to the Presidency of the United States, I will, to the best of my ability:
1) Masturbate to hardcore pornography every day while listening to Rick Santorum speeches.
2) Have premarital or extramarital sex every week while thinking about Rick Santorum.
3) Have homosexual relations every month while screaming Rick Santorum's name. (as a straight man, this will be hard for me, but i will swallow my pride and make this sacrifice for my country)
4) Impregnate a woman every year and pay for her abortion.
5) Attend church every week and steal money from the offering plate, then spend that money on porn or drugs.
6) Attend Church every week, and disrupt service by loudly blaspheming the name of the Lord (YHWH, pronounced Yahweh)
7) Smoke meth and shoot heroin as often as I can afford it.
8) Convert to Islam. Radical Islam.
I will do these things to the best of my ability until Rick Santorum is no longer the President of the United States of America.