Discuss Iraq using only sports metaphors

Howard Cosell was a Zionist and it's the bottom of the ninth.

Howsabout the Yankee team gets a REAL coach? One with ...ooh, i dunno, a PLAN or sumthin? (And no, "ill raep joo lol" is NOT a plan, it's at best a goal.)
One who'll look up from his cross from time to time, to look at how the game is REALLY going?
One who'll not be handing out free-kicks and penalties left-right-and-center? If the board says "Visitors - Home team: 1-4", it means you're losing; you'll wanna keep your score, like, HIGHER than that of the other team.
One who, if he's to do drugs, is liable to try out some performance-ENHANCING ones?

I'm just asking.