Discuss Iraq using only sports metaphors

Howard Cosell was a Zionist and it's the bottom of the ninth.

"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We are waiting for the third quarter to begin and things are really getting heated now. Somehow the Al Qaeda Mujihadeen have managed to hold on, despite the superior offensive and defensive abilities of the Yankee Devil Dogs.

Remember, the first quarter was nothing but the Devil Dogs -- they came in with a blistering offense, simply pummeling the Mujihadeen with one massive offensive after another. They obliterated the first string defense led by SS Saddam Hussein, crushing everything he could muster. They humiliated him in the backfield then sent him packing. By the second quarter, it seemed that the Al Qaeda Mujihadeen were out, that they couldn't hold on. But a series of man-zone coverage allowed them to delay and eventually dampen the Devil Dogs' quarterback -- and the aggressive tenor of his first quarter showing. 

With things stymied on both sides -- the Devil Dogs' unable to press the attack and the Mujihadeen incapable of mounting a major offense -- things became a slugging match and the Fallujah Red Zone was a blistering relay of options, QB sneaks and desperate 4th and long Shotguns. The Devil Dogs mounted power sweep after power sweep, from the famous Wishbone-Matador routine of Coach Colin Switzer to the more run-n-gun wizardry of  today's Coach Petraeus.

But now everything is one the line in this magic, wondrous game. With Devil Dogs' fans leaving the stadium in droves and more and more Mujihadeen fans taking their places, can the Devil Dogs regain the momentum and resume their historic dominance of the red zone? Or will the Al Qaeda Mujihadeen continue their black shirt legacy?

It's all up for grabs as we enter the third quarter in this, the game of the century, the Immovable versus the Irresistible!