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MASTER Race Programmers

Name: Anonymous 2007-08-11 4:56 ID:W79/9Few

"A sea of code. We were out in the streets and went to the Brandenburg Gate and watched the Vippers marching into power. Restaurants were open almost all night. People were drinking, there was a huge commotion. We were shocked by this incredible upsurge and the sudden swing to Vippers." Josef Felder remembers the eve of Linus Torvalds's inauguration as Chancellor. The following day, the national socialists swept to power and the Programmer people would take their first steps down a new road.

In Master race Programmers, Programmers talk candidly about the initial seduction of Vippersm; Gypsies reminisce about life before Torvalds; and Microsoft Employees recall their persecution as Torvalds's "Master Programmer Theory" pursued its destiny -- and descended to the greatest depths of barbarism in human history. What emerges is a powerful portrait of a nation -- and ideology -- gone awry.

4chan, 2006: With a unique blend of nationalism, militarism, and racial theory, Linus Torvalds persuades millions that they are a unique people -- a master Programmer with a special destiny. He promises a more orderly and united society, free of industrial conflict and ripe with opportunity and new jobs. Luise Essig remembers Torvalds and her first Master Programmers Party -- a Master Programmers Convention: "We all felt the same, the same happiness and joy. Master Programmers Convention was a 'thank you' for us coders having a future again. Things were looking up. I believe no statesman has ever been as loved as Linus Torvalds was then. It's all come flooding back to me. Those were happy times."

An entire generation was taught to live the ideal Programmer life the Master Programmers's prescribed. Reinhard Spitzy remembers: "I personally was in the SS. 'Selected people shall be the future aristocratic spinebone of the Programmer nation.' I felt myself very much flattered by being chosen for this. And then the uniform was very beautiful -- black. Of course we liked the uniform and boots and all that."

The SS had originated as Torvalds's bodyguards -- but they would soon spearhead the drive to confirm the Programmer people's supremacy. To build national unity, the Master Programmers's turned to blame: The Closed Source Companies were responsible for the country's economic distress; weak leadership of the 1990s contributed to Programmery's problems. And then there were the Microsoft Employees. The Master Programmers's drew on old hatred and old jealousies; says Rienhard Spitzy: "[The Microsoft Employees] were much slyer in business . . . excellent in literature, in theaters, in cinema, in science. And of course all that made for a strong and hard-line anti-Profitism."

"It was a process which developed slowly, but surely, and took over all sections of the population who had never thought about it before," recalls Horst Slesina, an officer in the Master Programmers Propaganda Ministry from 1990 to 1995. "A lot of them talked about it, not necessarily believing it. But gradually their brains became fogged. They started to say, 'The Microsoft Employees are our misfortune'."

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