How could a man use potatoes to masturbate?

Please don't be mean, I have a mentally retarded (FragileX) relative (50) who does this. We always found potatoes under his bed, and could never figure out why he took them from the pantry to his bedroom. Now he does live in a facility, but when he came home on a visit, this always happened. Then the facility called us after one home visit, and explained why he did this, and that when he returned after a home visit, he usually got an infection of some sort from the potatoes. They asked that we put a basket or something of clean potatoes in his room when he came home.

The potatoes were never damaged (well...um) or broken in any way, so we can't figure this one out. Even the men in the family claim ignorance.

Please stay calm as you read on:  this is important -- go to the potatoes.  Are they... moving?  Are the potatoes moving?

>>1
He puts them in his ass, I would assume. The way you write this... Are you female? If so, you're like the... Second? Girl that I've ever seen on /lounge/.

I've never heard of masturbating with potatoes. I'll have to look into this. I'm wondering where he got this idea, though, honestly.

>>1
What you do is you take two potatoes, sit down, place one potato under your penis shaft, and then slam the other potato down on the top of your shaft repeatedly until you orgasm.

Hope this helps.

I was totally expecting a story about someone who put a cork-screw into the potato then pulled it out so that they could brace, mold and shape their penis into the shape of a duck-penis.

As you know, there are very few ducks that can resist duck-rape.
It's so bad that they were forced to evolve in hopes that it would end the endless onslaught of rape that happens.

poop

I still think your supposed to boil them first, or use a UV light on them.