im 12 and this woman comes to me

She's all looking at me and I'm like what and she says, "I'm going to give you a boner."  I laughed and said, "'going to'?  Lady you gave me a boner when you got within 10 feet of me."

I REALLY like to believe this thing was a novelty because the only person I could envision taking this thing would be the old lady who lives in a shoe. Anyway, during one particularly spirited event uptown, some poor young bastard was harassing a older lady to the point where she had ducked into the porn shop to avoid the guy(because nothing says "I don't want to screw!" like slipping into a porn shop). Of course, this idiot didn't take the clue and followed her in. Having had enough, she grabbed the only object around that resembled a weapon, yup, the gigantic black dildo, and proceeded to beat the ever-loving s**t out of the guy with the monster! To this day, I like to think the a*****e was too stupid(or dick-punched drunk) to lie about what actually happened to him. But, then again, what would be a good lie? "Hey, man! What the hell happened to you?" I, uhh, I, uhhhh, got in a fistfight with a whole bunch of really big dudes!