Tolkien was an asshole.

If there was anyone in the story of the Lord of the Rings, who deserved to cross the Belegaer and off Middle Earth entirely, to reside thereafter in the Blessed Realm, it was Sméagol, a.k.a. Gollum, he being the most ruined of ringbearers. Sméagol deserved to stand side by side with Frodo and Bilbo as they sailed away from Mithlond, the 'Grey Havens'.

But no, no, Tolkien-the-dick killed him off. Tolkien the vicious. Tolkien the merciless. Fuck J.R.R. and his vengeful story.

Can someone explain the end of The Hobbit to me? There was this whole build-up about them finding the dragon and knowing his weakness and whatever, then out of the blue some guy called Bard appeared and killed the dragon for them.

Was "Bard" Tolkien's dying friend and his last wish was to be in his book or something? I really don't get it.