Official religion thread

This is the official religion thread.  If there is another religion thread, redirect them here.

You don't have to have a lobotomy to post here, it's just for fun!

To start us off:
God is defined as the perfect being.  God either exists in the real world or in our minds.  Existing in the real world is better.  Therefore God exists.

So, a little old Chinese man and a little old Jewish man are sitting at a park bench, the Chinese man is feeding pigeons, when the old Jewish man squints at him and then suddenly whacks him across the knees with his cane.

"Owww! Goddamit! What did you do that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor!"

"You dumb ass! I'm Chinese, it was the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor!"

"Chinese, Japanese, Burmese, what difference does it make?"

The old Chinese picks up his cane, and whacks the old Jew across the knees and yells:

"That's for sinking the Titanic!"

"You stupid putz! An iceberg sank the Titanic!"

"Iceberg, Weissberg, Goldberg.....what difference does it make?"