NO seriously guys, I can no longer think. My "vision" is blurry, and by vision I don't mean my ability to perceive light.
I just cannot get anything to spring from the "ego" or "my" action. Does anyone understand this? Let's say I open a door, it happens due to probability and not because I decided to open it, and even if I don't open it, the effect it has quickly disappears in chaos.
I am lost. I am enslaved to my surroundings; all I do is change my state according to the environment. I have no free will, not even an illusion of free will.
Do you have any idea how horrible this feels? It may be all fun and jokes to you, but not me.