Okay, unless you're trying to deprecate someone else (in which case, since this is my first day here in a very long time, I know of no memes or particular 4channish "idols"/tripfags), you seem terribly upset with yourself and you either are trying to "punish" yourself with this or are expecting someone to be nice and start comforting you.
I can assure you that no human being is a "complete idiot", but some of the faceless people on this board will take every chance to be jerks, because they have nothing better to do.
That said, what you need is neither someone to punch you nor someone to comfort you; what you need is someone to tell you how to fix your problem.
For starters, punishing yourself will just not fix anything. I'd recommend asking someone you know in real life who is calm, experienced, wise and trust-worthy (as opposed to a bunch of faceless kids on the internet), but in case you MUST ask here of all places, it's a lot better to make a thread in /adv/ and write specific problems.
But before asking here, it's better to try typing a few keywords in Google and seeing what you'll get. Probably most questions you might ask has been answered before on the internet. Try looking somewhere like WikiHow (not Yahoo Answers).