Rape victim

me and my boyfriend were having sex the other night, and he asked me for anal. I've done it once before with him and didnt really enjoy it but it didnt hurt so i thought it would be fine again, not realising last time i dont it i was very drunk which must have helped alot.

this time it was so so painful even with lube (he is very big i have trouble takin him normally sometimes).

I kept tellin him it was hurtin and he was sayin he wud take it gentle, it was hurtin that badly i started cryin and shaking, and he kept asking me if it was hurtin and i kept sayin yes. this went on for about 10 minutes and he eventually stopped and i ran to the bathroom cryin and wouldnt let him touch me for the rest of the night.

i eventually told him the next day why i was so quiet and unresponsive, that he had hurt me in more ways than one. one doin it, then 2 it hurt me to think he didnt care and still done it when i was upset and in pain.

this from the man that has said from day one that i am the one,he will marry me, and we will have kids, we are meant to be together.

then he goes and treats me like a toy...........

i dont no what to do, i could never carry on wit something if i new it was hurting someone.

im not sure i believe he loves me after this, i am so close to finnishin it, i would have already if it wasnt for him begginin for forgivness and cryin.

When Date Rape Drugs Are Used
 
When I graduated from The University of Georgia, I got a great job in downtown Atlanta. I was happy-really happy. I knew a lot of people in the area and was beginning to enjoy my newfound freedom, complete with a steady paycheck.

I have always been the type of person who does the right thing. For instance, I went to UGA, kept the HOPE Scholarship all four years, worked part-time and even volunteered at Safe Campuses Now. I was never in trouble and always careful and aware, remembering everything that I learned at SCN. I knew the stats: one out of eight women will be raped while in college. I read the articles about date rape. I know what coudl happen.

But I knew that this stuff would never happen to me. I was too careful and I was too smart. But, I soon found out that these things can happen and they happened to me.

I met a girl in my office, Sarah, who was close to my age and new to the city. We started hanging out and I introduced her to several of my friends. One day, she asked me to go to Lenox Square Mall and grab some dinner after work. I agreed.

After a few hours of shopping, we sat down at a fairly nice restaurant in the mall. I ordered a glass of wine and Sarah had a green-apple martini. Throughout the meal, I noticed that she wasn't drinking very much of her martini. I shrugged it off and figured she wasn't much in the mood. I, however, ordered another glass of wine, which would make two glasses in three hours. Normally, this would have little effect on me, but this night it did. I don't remember leaving the restaurant.

The next thing I knew, I was face down on a hotel bed, nude and alone. The room was in total disarray. I had no idea where I was. The last thing I remembered was being at the restaurant. I slowly got off the bed and started to look for my clothes. It was like a dream. I felt like I was under water. I found most of my clothes in a pile by the door. I looked for my purse to find my cell phone, but whom would I call? My parents would be furious and I couldn't tell my new boss what happened. I didn't even know what happened. But, I had to call someone. Then, it all started to sink in and my head became clear. It did happen to me.

I found my purse in the bathroom, reached for my cell phone and called my mom.

She had called my office that morning looking for me. In fact, everyone at the office was looking for me. My mom asked me where I was, and all I could say was, "Mom, I don't know."

I screamed into the phone and started to cry. It was all becoming clear. I had become a statistic over night and my life would never be the same.

My mom did her best to calm me down and coached me through this horrible situation. After I discovered that the telephone in the room had been disconnected, I ran down the hall knocking on every door I passed. One woman heard me and opened her door. She gave me the hotel address and I repeated to my mom. She immediately hung up with me and called the police. At this point, I sat down in hallway and cried. I wanted desperately for all of this to be a dream, but it wasn't.

Soon, the police arrived and I was taken into another room for a physical evaluation. I had bumps and bruises on my neck and my back. I was then taken to the Woman's Clinic at Grady Hospital for a complete rape physical. My parents were extremely supportive through all of this. They kept telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I did nothing wrong. They were right. I didn't do anything wrong. I was a mere victim of a horrible crime.

Later, it was determined that I had been drugged and Sarah knew where I was the whole time. In fact, she took me to the hotel and left me with two men that we had apparently met at another restaurant; I didn't remember. Sarah assumed that I would be safe and that I just needed to sleep it off. Sarah was wrong.

I share my story because I want people to know that this kind of thing does happen and it is happening to people like you and me. Although I wanted to tell my story to help others, I am finding that sharing my story helps me more than I ever thought it would.

If rape happens to you or someone you know, please remember that there is help available. But you have to ask for it. It would have been so easy for me to quietly get dressed, find my car and go home as if nothing had ever happened. The scary thing is that I thought of doing just that. Telling my mon, calling the police, facing what happened to me was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I am seeing a therapist to deal with the anxiety and fear that come along with being victimized. Everyday I get stronger. And I have people I trust who are there to help me when I need a shoulder to lean on.

Today, I am learning how to live life as a rape survivor knowing I did nothing wrong. I might have been a victim, but I am also a survivor.