Rape victim

me and my boyfriend were having sex the other night, and he asked me for anal. I've done it once before with him and didnt really enjoy it but it didnt hurt so i thought it would be fine again, not realising last time i dont it i was very drunk which must have helped alot.

this time it was so so painful even with lube (he is very big i have trouble takin him normally sometimes).

I kept tellin him it was hurtin and he was sayin he wud take it gentle, it was hurtin that badly i started cryin and shaking, and he kept asking me if it was hurtin and i kept sayin yes. this went on for about 10 minutes and he eventually stopped and i ran to the bathroom cryin and wouldnt let him touch me for the rest of the night.

i eventually told him the next day why i was so quiet and unresponsive, that he had hurt me in more ways than one. one doin it, then 2 it hurt me to think he didnt care and still done it when i was upset and in pain.

this from the man that has said from day one that i am the one,he will marry me, and we will have kids, we are meant to be together.

then he goes and treats me like a toy...........

i dont no what to do, i could never carry on wit something if i new it was hurting someone.

im not sure i believe he loves me after this, i am so close to finnishin it, i would have already if it wasnt for him begginin for forgivness and cryin.

We want to challenge the dearly held idea that rape is not about sex. We realize that our approach and our frankness will rankle some social scientists, including some serious and well-intentioned rape investigators. But many facts point to the conclusion that rape is, in its very essence, a sexual act. Furthermore, we argue, rape has evolved over millennia of human history, along with courtship, sexual attraction and other behaviors related to the production of offspring.

Consider the following facts:

" Most rape victims are women of childbearing age.

" In many cultures rape is treated as a crime against the victim. s husband.

" Rape victims suffer less emotional distress when they are subjected to more violence.

" Rape takes place not only among human beings but also in a variety of other animal species.

" Married women and women of childbearing age experience more psychological distress after a rape than do girls, single women or women who are past menopause.

    As bizarre as some of those facts may seem, they all make sense when rape is viewed as a natural, biological phenomenon that is a product of the human evolutionary heritage.

    Here we must hasten to emphasize that by categorizing a behavior as "natural" and "biological" we do not in any way mean to imply that the behavior is justified or even inevitable. Biological means "of or pertaining to life," so the word applies to every human feature and behavior. But to infer from that. as many of our critics assert that we do. that what is biological is somehow right or good, would be to fall into the so-called naturalistic fallacy. That mistake is obvious enough when one considers such natural disasters as epidemics, floods and tornadoes. In those cases it is clear that what is natural is not always desirable. And of course much can be, and is, done to protect people against natural threats. from administering antibiotics to drawing up emergency evacuation plans. In other words, the fact that rape is an ancient part of human nature in no way excuses the rapist