*They're only enjoyable to have around up to the age of 40. After that, it's nothing but miserable nagging and waking up next to Skeletor until you die. They start to act this way once they realize that they're no longer beautiful high-schoolers.
*They invent drama in a relationship when they're bored.
*They use their vagina as a bargaining tool to get you to do chores/shopping/various shit you don't want to do
*They think they're entitled to spend your money you earned working at your job on clothes, objects d'art, and other bullshit
*They usually outlive you by 15-20 years, so they'll spend the last decade of their life living off your money
*They can't handle electronics, cars, appliances, etc.
*They expect you to be there and watch your baby being born. As if you wanted to see all that nasty blood and aminotic fluid
*They take forever in the bathroom or to get dressed or get ready to go anywhere