Name: Anonymous 2011-04-16 8:03
"Please don't kill me - I've got a wife and family to feed!"
"Woah, woah woah, what?! A wife and kids? You never told me you had a wife and kids to provide for. Looks like we've got ourselves a FAMILY man here. See, you should have TOLD me that before you started shooting at me. Get his wallet for me.
...
Oh, you DO have a wife and kids! TWO kids! Now don't tell me: That looks like his name is Jerome, and that here must be little Jeremy, and this beautiful wife right here HAS to be Jolanda.
Poor, poor Jolanda. Does she know where you are right now? I mean did you call her up before all of this went down and said 'Honey, I'll be off to work right now. Today I'm gonna get in a gunfight with some thugs." and she went "Okay honey, have a nice day! Bring back a thug ear as a souvenir for me."? No. No, I don't think so. I think she's too pretty for that. She doesn't look like no monster to me. She's got kids to provide for. I bet your wife stays at home, taking care of her family, sending them to school, packing their lunches, and all of that other homely stuff that good wives do.
...so what're you doing here? You have a wife and two lovely boys at home, and yet you stalk the streets, looking to get into gunfights. No, you know what? What we've got here ain't no family man. What we've got here is a man just like my father: Never bothered to come home at night, never told us much about where he went, and one day he just didn't bother to come home at all. It makes you think, doesn't it? I mean you could have settled for being a flower salesman, but something made you choose a career where you were likely to get into situations just like these. That tells me a lot about you, doesn't it? I mean you have this beautiful wife named Jolanda and two kids, and yet you're out here on the street trying to get yourself killed, just to get away from a wife and kids who you don't love enough to be around for. Shame on you! You disgust me. Killing you will not just be making this world a better place, but it will also be a personal pleasure, and I thank you for that."
*BLAM*
"Woah, woah woah, what?! A wife and kids? You never told me you had a wife and kids to provide for. Looks like we've got ourselves a FAMILY man here. See, you should have TOLD me that before you started shooting at me. Get his wallet for me.
...
Oh, you DO have a wife and kids! TWO kids! Now don't tell me: That looks like his name is Jerome, and that here must be little Jeremy, and this beautiful wife right here HAS to be Jolanda.
Poor, poor Jolanda. Does she know where you are right now? I mean did you call her up before all of this went down and said 'Honey, I'll be off to work right now. Today I'm gonna get in a gunfight with some thugs." and she went "Okay honey, have a nice day! Bring back a thug ear as a souvenir for me."? No. No, I don't think so. I think she's too pretty for that. She doesn't look like no monster to me. She's got kids to provide for. I bet your wife stays at home, taking care of her family, sending them to school, packing their lunches, and all of that other homely stuff that good wives do.
...so what're you doing here? You have a wife and two lovely boys at home, and yet you stalk the streets, looking to get into gunfights. No, you know what? What we've got here ain't no family man. What we've got here is a man just like my father: Never bothered to come home at night, never told us much about where he went, and one day he just didn't bother to come home at all. It makes you think, doesn't it? I mean you could have settled for being a flower salesman, but something made you choose a career where you were likely to get into situations just like these. That tells me a lot about you, doesn't it? I mean you have this beautiful wife named Jolanda and two kids, and yet you're out here on the street trying to get yourself killed, just to get away from a wife and kids who you don't love enough to be around for. Shame on you! You disgust me. Killing you will not just be making this world a better place, but it will also be a personal pleasure, and I thank you for that."
*BLAM*