Save me, Captain Autism!

A gang of neurotypicals are attempting to form interpersonal relationships with me!

This looks like a job for

 *************
 *AUTISM MAN!*
 *************

 (A choir sings the theme:)

 AUTISM MAN
 BRAVES THE STARS
 WITH HIS SIDEKICK
 ASPIE BOY.

 WHEREEVER THEY GO
 TROUBLE BEWARE:
 AUTISM MAN
 IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

 AAUUTIISSMM MAAAAN!
 (...and Aspie Boy.)

 Autism Man says:
 If you don't like some people, you could try telling them to go away, explaining that you don't like them.
 Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

 YOU HAVE BEEN HELPED BY

 AUTISM MAN!

 (Oh, you lucky you.)