Something A Cop Would Say

"You have the right to remain silent."
"I'm going to arrest you if you don't talk to me."

"You have the right to remain arrested."
"I'm going to silence you if you don't talk to me."

>>1
These "things people say" seem rather contrived.  It's like you are coming up with contradictory statements deliberately, as if to defame the person.  That's kind of rude.

something a whore would say:

"Put it in."
"Pull it out."
"Put it in."
"Pull it out."
"Put it in."
"Pull it out."
"Put it in."
"Pull it out."
"Put it in."
"Pull it out."

>>3
I think you're being a little paranoid here, mister.

The chief monk at the monastery was looking for someone to replace him. He called the monks together and placed in front of them a water bottle. He said, "without calling this a water bottle, tell me what it is."

One monk said, "It is not a block of wood."

Another poured himself a drink.

Just then the cook, who had been watching all of this, walked across the room and kicked the water bottle over. The cook was made head of the monastery.

At that moment, several monks attained enlightenment.

Another monk asked the cook, "how did you know the solution to the master's riddle?"

The cook replied, "that water bottle was making lewd comments about me, so I kicked it."

The chief monk laughed and said, "he's your problem now, suckers."

"Do you have a warrant?"

"I can arrest you for asking me that."