hmm lets see i wouldnt say i wanna die through i felt like dying before…
im not less fortunate then anyone. come to think of it im consider kinda lucky.i never studied much but i kinda have a stable job which fetch me enough money for now but im 25 so this job cant last long i need to think of the future.. and tat worries me .i believe that we can get almost anything we want if we work hard enough for it ..except for one thing *love* its not something u can get easily or when ever u want to. i dun look that bad ,im kinda average looking and thanks to the mask i wear ,im able to get a few attention from girls . i kinda suffer from major self depression but im able to move on my life with a few people knowing it .through i sometime breakdown and cry my heart out but tats something no one can understand about…ive being alone since young and its hard to explain. all i wanted was a sense of belonging to someone or some where . i need a group of friends or a lover tat really needs me and want me and remember me but those just seem so far from me i dunno wats wrong. i had a long relationship of 5 years before but it ended , tat tormented me more giving more fits . i took 3 years to settle my feelings again. within this 3 years i tried mani new relationships. i fall , i pick myself up, i move on, again i fall…..keep repeating this cycle but each time i added new injuries to my heart,and now im suffered too much damage to stand up again. i just wan something simple , to find someone i love and someone tat loves me … yes true everyone tells me wait for fate ,when its time to come it will come . but seriously when? and based on wat can they assure me from and if tats really true , y is tat still so many singles and y people chose to die? and yes maybe i WILL find but how long will tat be? weeks? months? or years ? and in the mean time i can only sit here and wait for my time to pass away? imagine fate comes when im 30 then wat happen to my 25 to 30 of life go? do something meaningful then? haha like wat? go pick up a hobby blah blah blah . please can anyone gives me advise? through most probably everyone will tell me , the only one tat can help me is myself blah blah blah . arent i right?