How do you make friends?

And please don't give the bullshit "just talk to people" answer which most people reply with. I'm socially retarded, do you think I know how to "just talk to people?"

Talking to people DOES work. The trick is not to give up. It's like a skill in an RPG - it's only going to raise when you go out and get experience. Talk to people, find out what works, what doesn't, and what is awkward.

Never give up and keep trying. Your skill will level up and you will get better at it.