If I had my way

I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fucking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't

If I had it my way everyone would be pious and humble and there would be no electronics, all modern conveniences are prisons that need to be purged from the planet.

I would be Amish but I'm not religious and the communities are too small.