Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 18:45
For the last few years, I've been really depressed. I haven't had any friends since I was 7 or 8ish and I've never gotten along with my parents. I used to think that things would just straighten themselves out, but as I got older, I realized that wasn't the case. This leads me to a short series of events that happened less than an hour ago.
(This will probably sound really cliche/corny... Sorry about that :/) For the last few nights before I went to sleep, the only thing I could think about was killing myself. Last night, I decided that I wouldn't have much trouble hanging myself with a belt from the rafters in one of the rooms in my house. I decided to sleep on it and follow through the next day (today) if I still wanted to do it. I did. I woke up, took a shower, and got ready to go out to get some food for my last meal (Potato chips, cookie-type things, soda... Hurr Hurr, yeah, I'm an American), eat it, and die. I walked to a convenience store about a mile away from me to get the food. When I got there, I bought the food and started walking back home. I have to go through this little waking path thing that goes around a lake to get back home. When I got to the path, there was a parked car with some people talking (Not a big deal. It's sort of a mini parking lot). As I was walking past the car, I heard a voice say "Hi". I looked to the side and saw a girl from school (She had tried talking to me a few times, but I was in "HOLY SHIT A GIRL IS TALKING TO ME, SPRINT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE SHE TURNS INTO A GRUE" mode and... yeah) smiling/waving at me. I said "'sup?" (Came out like "ts-uh" in a pretty high voice because I was kind of nervous :/) and kept walking.
This event made me not want to die. I know I'll still probably never have any friends/be in a relationship, but those few seconds of someone talking to me (If you can even call it that... Pathetic, I know :/) made me happy for the first time in a long time.
(This will probably sound really cliche/corny... Sorry about that :/) For the last few nights before I went to sleep, the only thing I could think about was killing myself. Last night, I decided that I wouldn't have much trouble hanging myself with a belt from the rafters in one of the rooms in my house. I decided to sleep on it and follow through the next day (today) if I still wanted to do it. I did. I woke up, took a shower, and got ready to go out to get some food for my last meal (Potato chips, cookie-type things, soda... Hurr Hurr, yeah, I'm an American), eat it, and die. I walked to a convenience store about a mile away from me to get the food. When I got there, I bought the food and started walking back home. I have to go through this little waking path thing that goes around a lake to get back home. When I got to the path, there was a parked car with some people talking (Not a big deal. It's sort of a mini parking lot). As I was walking past the car, I heard a voice say "Hi". I looked to the side and saw a girl from school (She had tried talking to me a few times, but I was in "HOLY SHIT A GIRL IS TALKING TO ME, SPRINT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE SHE TURNS INTO A GRUE" mode and... yeah) smiling/waving at me. I said "'sup?" (Came out like "ts-uh" in a pretty high voice because I was kind of nervous :/) and kept walking.
This event made me not want to die. I know I'll still probably never have any friends/be in a relationship, but those few seconds of someone talking to me (If you can even call it that... Pathetic, I know :/) made me happy for the first time in a long time.