OMG!!!!!! WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!

hey guys!!! i was just furiously mastrubating to some hardcore pornography in my condo in las vegas!! when suddenly [OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i furiously mastrubated so hard that my PENIS caught ON FIRE
I immediatly went for my #FIRE EXTINGUISHER but by then 3 inches of it had already burnt off!!!!! ;_; ;___;
Now it's only [spoiler]11 inches long ;__; ;_; ;__;

>>1
Don't feel bad, dude. As long as you're not a total creep, women don't mind at all you seeing them naked or fondling them. I got really drunk for the first time last year, and kept on screaming at these chicks to get naked. They were also a bit drunk, so they just kept on laughing it off. At one point in the night (I'm not sure what provoked this), one of the chicks started rubbing my chest. So, I, of course, started rubbing hers. My friend kicked me in the groin 'cause he thought I was drunkenly molesting her, even though I'd say it was fairly even. The next day, I didn't want to bring it up, but she did. I just said, "I'm sorry about that; I was being stupid," and she was like, "Whatever, hey, at least it was your first time grabbing at tit."