white nationalist

I'm a white nationalist. Haven't shared my views with any of my family. Yesterday we went to visit extended family in the south. Ask my gran who I haven't seen since I was two why she's slightly darker than the rest of the family. Turns out my great grandfather was a nigger.
I can't tell any on my friends because of the 'one drop rule' My life is crumbling, I'm in disgrace.

I don't know what to do. what should I do