PHP vs Javascript

What are the similarities and differences between these two languages?

What i've gathered so far

They're both web based scripting languages.
PHP is an open source alternative to Microsoft's. It is a recursive acronym for PhpHypertextProcessing.

What i'd like to know is what can you do in JS but not in PHP and vice versa. Also, could Anusymous be written in JS ?

>>38
What the fuck is a ``milkribs?"

>>39
Now print out the source code and squat over it. Gently squeeze your milkribs (anus, for the uninitiated) until the egg breaks. As it leaks out, wave your milkribs around dripping the eggs innards over the printed script.
Then use a text scanning program to scan the program source code back in, the necessary changes will have been made. Please note vip must be performed on the night of a full moon.

s/vip/this. Fucking phone

>>42
Show me yourself.

>>34
>>34