Sometimes, I want to kill my wife

I wake up next to her and shake my head in disbelief. THIS is what I'm married to? Don't get me wrong, she has a great sense of humor and really understands my ironic wit. But there are two things about her that I absolutely detest. I'm talking repulsive qualities. One, she is overweight, and I'm talking about the kind of obesity that makes the bed feel like it's going to tip to her side. At night I'm afraid of getting up to go to bathroom, because I know that all of that weight will be on her side of the bed. I try to give hints about the weight, I cook decent meals that aren't too fatty or loaded with sugar. But she works near this strip mall and she's always going to the food court for lunch. I want to say something to her directly, but I'm not the rude type. The second thing that I can't stand is her age. I'm no spring chicken but I still have some pep in my step. She's in her 40s, she has a daughther (who I'm currently fucking), and she doesn't like to do much but come home and watch TV. I try to get her to come out with me and the peeps, but it's not her thing. I almost feel like bailing, but I just started fucking her daughter, and I don't want to give that up just yet.

she has a daughther (who I'm currently fucking)

you got a good Jerry Springer thing going

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I HATE women. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.