So guys it finally happened. Last night, my mom was away and I'm home with a six pack of root beer and some licorice. The family-dog is home too, but he's licking himself and gnawing at some fleas. I'm feeling bold and I ask him if he wants to "play ball". He looks up at me with those sappy eyes and knows I don't play catch with him. I just laugh. He's cool with my offer and we go to Mom's bedroom and I plop him on the bed. I'm talking about things, like what a good dog he is and how he's always so obedient. To make a long story short, I tell him that I really love him and know that I'm never going to be with a woman. Could be the root beer, but who knows? Then we ended up kissing. Well, I was kissing and he was flopping his huge tongue around. His fur was so soft, like those dogs Mom and I would go see at the county dog show. I felt like I was in one of those movies where animals act like people, but I didn't care. I decided to take it to the next level, because I knew Mom wasn't coming home for another hour or so. It was quick, but his tail was so tight. It felt practically unused, the way I like it. I don't know if this will happen that often, but it's good to know that I can relieve the stress with this beast. I just hope he stays around, the only other pet Mom let me have is a gerbil.
I HATE women. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.