>>40
CLOAN!
This gets really confusing... my first gay experience was when I was 8 and was raped by a man, but honestly I think I enjoyed it.
I had then become a sexual being at a very early age and experimented with a neighbor boy but was caught and was basically forced to be shamed by my family, friends, teachers, hell even my rabbi. However, this basically imbued me with a very deep "shame fetish", and by the time I was 15 I was letting myself be fully submissive in relationships, mostly with boys who wanted a ragdoll to play with... apparently i was a good dick sucker lol
I came out as gay to my mom when I was 16, but after that I had a steady relationship with a girl for the next 3 years, and I was fully in love with her... however the sex was sort of "off", and after a while I was really bored with the physical relationship and we ended the relationship mutually.
i have had mostly girlfriends since, and have found out that I find black women extraordinarily hot, but find it hard to get off to most other women. What really makes me attracted to someone is shame... like if they have body shame, i am so aroused. i feel off of shame, i am shame.
I had a threesome recently with a male and female and I think I was more attracted to the male, but i did get off in the girl's mouth once, although I was thinking about the boy when i did this.
when I have sex with a woman it feels good, but mentally i feel really detached sort of, like it takes hours of sex for me to really feel much, but with a man i can feel sort of... dirty and safe at the same time. I really feel good being submissive, like im supposed to be this way. i can 100% be dominant, but goddammit i love feeling tied up against my will with my legs split open.