My friends were all undead.

I am feeling very depressed right now because I've come to realize that most of my friends were really zombies. I should have paid attention to the signs, but I really wanted some friends, and the rot wasn't so bad in the beginning.
Sure, when I left them each evening they wouldn't actually go home - they would just stay and moan outside my window. That was kinda creepy, and sort of gay too.
And then there was Fluffy. You turn your back to them just for a moment, and when you come back suddenly Fluffy is missing.
...and that stench. You could get used to it after awhile, but every time you met up with them, you'd have to do that all over again.
...but I mean at first they seemed like really okay guys. A little weird perhaps, but I'm weird too.
I guess I realize now, after about ten years has gone by, that they just wanted to hang with me because of my brains. That's pretty sad, because I really enjoyed their company.
Well, at least I didn't get bitten. At least that's some comfort.

I know you guys don't care about all of this, but I figure that you can't possibly be any worse than my former friends. I guess some of your are probably zombies too, but at least you won't be able to eat my brains.

>>21
Anyway, thanks for the tip. I've begun to work at some kind of a zombie disguise. It feels a little bit dishonest though, but I figure that if lying to zombies is the only way for them to get themselves laid, then it's ultimately for their own good, right? I know I'm just thinking of them like soulless things that's lower than even animals now, but they haven't excetly displayed anything that elevates them beyond a cheesegrater, and you don't try to be honest with a cheesegrater, right?