Friend i want to put in his place

I thought i'd come to the lounge to ask for some help on being able to defeat my friend. He's a good guy but tends to get on my nerves every night, particularly on instant chat. I'm the kind of guy who likes to remain as one of the top dogs in his circle of friends, and this character is generally considered a low ranking member of the group, but seems to think as if he's a very clever, admirable person.

He seems certain he's smarter than me, i have to prove him wrong. I have to destroy his ego. I'm talking an act that only Dio Brando would commit, right now i feel furious. I want to be able to let him know that i am and forever will be his superior for as long as he is part of the same social circle as I am.

OP here, i think i've done it. I told his girlfriend i was drunk and asked if it's true that he let him ejaculate on her breasts. I said that he told me he did. She got very upset. I think i've won.

The best part is, he did tell me that.