fighting a gang of 5th graders.

I was walking back from a final I just had and my usual path takes me by Burger King and through an elementary school. Well, I got a few burgers from BK and headed my regular way. I was walking through the school when I noticed about 10-15 kids heading towards me. They looked about 10 or 11, so I can only assume it's 5th graders.

I just kept walking but was quickly surrounded by the little fuckers. I asked what they wanted and they said the BK. It was all boys. I told them to get lost and kept walking but they quickly got in my way. One kid started kicking me while another spit on me. I wish I was making this up, but the only thing I could think to do was to push the kid who kicked me as hard as I could.

He fell into two more kids and they all went down. The kid who spit on me threw a (weak) punch and I blocked it and pushed him to the ground too. After that, mayhem broke loose and the rest of the kids descended upon me. I kept up my regular stance of pushing the fuckers as hard as I could, but I did have to kick one of them to the ground while I was pushing.

As soon as I had a clear shot I ran my ass off towards my house with about four or five kids in (slow) pursuit.

I could have got more, but I'd rather not hurt any of them, but I did manage to "beat up" at least eight or nine 5th graders, thus solving, at least for me, the question of "How many 5th graders could you take on at a time?"

When fighting children, you must remember to do severe, even horrible damage.  It's the same principle used when putting down an animal that dares to attack a Human.  Children who dare to attack adults should be maimed ... with permanent injuries like missing teeth, gouged-out eyes, and cut-off fingers.

Because if you don't, then the little fuckers will just grow worse in time.  Maim them instead, and they'll remain too frightened to function in a mob again.