I'm feeling violent in every single moment I'm awake and seeing a film is the only thing that makes me not think about girls. Going out and seeing tons of young girls everyday drives me crazy, my body is all sore and I can't help but to feel immense grief because of this sweetness that I can't get. Twice a week I have to sit right next to a girl for a few hours, and even if I feel no attraction towards her, just her being female gives me immense physical pain and uneasiness.